Hold On To Life
by LarielRomeniel
Summary: Complete! TenRose with fluff and romance. Doomsday? What's that?
1. Chapter 1 A Perfect Moment

A/N – I now understand all those authors pleading for reviews! Now that I've posted my first piece and gotten some responses, I feel like a junkie craving another fix of feedback! But I won't beg. I just hope you enjoy reading this as much as I'm enjoying writing it.

I'm not quite done with "It Just Slipped Out." I know the Doctor and Rose have a lot to talk about, and I'm planning to go back to that. In fact, this chapter refers to thosestill unwritten conversations.But this story just demanded to be written first; the idea's been bouncing around in my head for a while and finally gelled today.

In case you didn't already know, I don't own Doctor Who or any of its characters.

**Hold On To Life**

**By **

**Lariel Romeniel**

**Chapter One: A Perfect Moment**

"So where are we going today?"

The Doctor pondered the question for a moment. All of time and space at his disposal, but he couldn't think of a destination. His sense of impending doom hadn't gone away despite their long talks over the past few nights. It was just pushed to the back of his mind, where it was doing its best to distract him.

And it seemed to be succeeding; he couldn't think of a thing except to keep them locked up safe in the TARDIS. Although…even that wasn't safe. _We were in theTARDIS when we were snatched away to the Gamestation…_

No. Not going there. So where would they go? He hadn't the foggiest. So he decided to cover his indecision by challenging Rose. "Why do **I** always have to come up with all the ideas?" he asked petulantly.

"Oh, don't pout! **You're** the Time Lord!" she shot back. "I thought you always had lots of great ideas!"

"I'm a Time Lord, not a tour guide, Rose!" he complained. "Even a Time Lord can draw a blank every once in a while."

She raised an eyebrow at him. "Not feeling so superior today, then?" she asked in a slightly smug voice.

He blew out a long sigh. "Tired, more like. I'm getting too old for these all-night gabfests. I sometimes forget that human curiosity is exhausting." All right. Enough with the cranky act. He took in a deep breath and made a decision at last. "I know! We'll let the TARDIS choose this time."

He turned to the console and gave it a fond pat. "How about it, old girl? Someplace peaceful, if you don't mind. I'm not up to running for my life today." _Please, help me hold off the approaching storm._

He smiled as the rotor began to move. Rose sidled up to him and slipped her hand into his.

_Clear skies, just for today._

When the rotor stopped, he was surprised. "Well, now, what's this, old girl?"

Rose furrowed her brow in concern. "Something wrong?"

"No, not really. Something unexpected."

"You did just leave it up to the TARDIS," she pointed out. He nodded in reply.

"I know. I just…was expecting that she'd take us to my favorite peaceful spot. The Eye of Orion. But she chose Metulla Orionsis. Traken."

"Traken's not peaceful?"

One side of his mouth quirked up in a lopsided smile. "Actually, it is. Very peaceful. A whole union of peaceful people who are just…terribly nice to each other."

Echoes of the past, memories of another young companion, now lost to the centuries. _Ah, Adric…_

Rose's voice broke through his reverie. "It sounds nice, Doctor. So why do you sound troubled?"

"I've been here before, Rose. Or…I will be here in my past, this planet's future."

Rose looked at him strangely. "That's never been a problem before. Unless…are we about to cross your timeline and meet an earlier you?"

He raised an eyebrow. "You've been paying attention, Rose Tyler!" he exclaimed delightedly, rewarding her for it with one of his sudden hugs. She was smiling as he pulled away and continued, "No, the TARDIS wouldn't allow that for just a pleasure trip. We've met earlier me's before, and not all of my past selves have gotten on too well. It always ends up giving both of us…all of us...an awful headache," he told her with a chuckle. "No, we're years before that other me gets here." Then, another one of his lightning mood changes. His tone became more serious. "I'm troubled because in your time Traken is gone, Rose. Destroyed by entropy thanks to an old enemy of mine. I never really expected to see the place again." His voice dropped, and he murmured, "I guess there's no escaping old memories."

He shook the past away and smiled brightly at her. "That's going to be a topic for another all-nighter, I think. At the moment…Traken's future will be **then**. This is **now**. Let's go take a look 'round!"

They walked out the TARDIS doors. He took a deep breath and smiled. So many memories triggered by scent. Traken was such a green world. He'd noticed that the last time, even when he was busy escaping the Fosters.

The TARDIS had landed in a wood. A footpath meandered past, and they took it through the trees, hand in hand.

"So what's there to do here?" Rose asked.

He cocked his head with a puzzled look. "You know, I'm not really sure. Last time, Adric and I got swept into things as soon as we arrived. We didn't get to do any sightseeing. Except for the dungeons, of course."

She smiled knowingly. "Dungeons. I should have figured. You got in trouble, eh?"

He grinned widely. "Always!"

"Adric?" Still smiling as she asked. Apparently their talks had made her more secure about other companions.

"You've probably guessed. He was one of my companions, once. Stowaway, actually."

Her eyes widened in surprise. "The TARDIS allowed a stowaway?"

Another grin, with a shrug. "More than once. But always people who really belonged on board. Adric was a good lad. Ah!"

The trees were ending. The footpath had led them to the edge of a cliff. A wooden railing lined the cliff's edge. Beyond it was a stunning vista, blue and green, blue and green. A crystal clear azure sky above verdant hills. A waterfall splashing down a rocky slope into a lake of impossibly turquoise water. The lake was surrounded by a lawn of deep emerald. They could see people relaxing on blankets, children playing.

Rose was beaming as she leaned against the railing and gazed out. "Oh, it's lovely, Doctor!"

His hearts felt lighter than they had in days. As always, his ship had known just what he needed. He laughed from pure joy. "It is, isn't it? Remind me to thank the TARDIS when we get back."

"I will. Shall we go down?"

A staircase was cut into the side of the cliff, descending to the lawn. He let Rose lead him along down to the grass, where she selected a likely spot. He took off his trench coat, laid it down with a flourish and they settled down onto it. Rose leaned against his right side and laid her head on his shoulder as he put his arm around her. He sighed happily. "A loaf of bread, a jug of wine and thou."

"Except we don't have bread or wine," Rose replied. He just smiled and gave her a little squeeze.

"One out of three's not bad. Especially when the one is thou."

Now it was her turn to sigh happily as he rested his cheek against the top of her head. With his right hand he absently stroked the top of her arm. Their left hands joined on top of his thigh. _The heart hand for a human,_ he mused. She'd worked herself into both of his hearts, a connection woven so intricately that he didn't know how he'd bear the approaching storm if it ripped her away.

No! He firmly shoved the prescience away to the back of his mind again. That's where it belonged for this day. He took another deep breath of the green-scented air and closed his eyes, willing this perfect moment to last. For himself. More importantly, for her.

Just a perfect moment. The two of them nestled against each other, breathing in harmony.

So it was a complete and utter shock when the moment was broken by something hitting him on the head. His eyes flew open, and he saw a bright red ball bouncing away from them on the lawn. A tiny girl brushed past him, chasing after it. The toddler caught her foot on a fold of his outlaid coat and fell, then picked herself up with a bright laugh and continued to follow her toy.

The sound of hard breathing behind them, then. "I'm so sorry about that," said a male voice, sounding winded. A figure in dark clothes passed them by quickly, chasing after the little girl and sweeping her up along with her ball. The man turned back to them. "You have to be more careful, Nyssa."


	2. Chapter 2 Future's Past

A/N – OK, so I'm very very very bad. I did the initial drafts of chapters one and two at work. Things have been a bit slow lately, giving me a chance to let my imagination run wild.

I became a Doctor Who fan when it was running on KTEH many many years ago. "The Keeper of Traken" is one of the episodes I still have on an ancient VHS tape. (The predecessor to DVDs and TiVo for all you youngsters out there!)

That old VHS tape is as close as I get to owning any part of Doctor Who. Of course, the Doctor belongs to the BBC.

**Hold On To Life**

**By**

**Lariel Romeniel**

**Chapter Two – Future's Past**

Nyssa could have been a common name on Traken. As common as Jennifer or Jane or Emily on Earth. But seeing the child in her father's arms, the Doctor knew. This wasn't just any little girl named Nyssa. This was his future companion, sucking on the two middle fingers of her left hand. A sweet faced child with huge eyes and a corona of short brown curls.

She was bloody adorable.

And her father. So young, so much younger than the first time they'd met. Black hair and beard, an unlined face. A face that had, the last time he saw it, been taken by an old enemy.

But this was long before the Master would steal this man's body. His eyes were warm and lively, not cold and calculating. His smile was open and friendly, his chest heaving a little from the effort of chasing his daughter.

"Please forgive Nyssa," said Tremas of Traken as he caught his breath. "She's just about mastered walking, but bouncing a ball at the same time seems to be a bit difficult for her."

The Doctor smiled, rubbing his head where he'd been hit. "Accidents will happen with children around. Quite all right, really. Looks like she keeps you running."

Tremas set Nyssa down again. She laughed, a high-pitched baby laugh, and tossed her ball at Rose, who caught it with a delighted grin and tossed it back. Apparently Rose's assessment of children as "little terrors" didn't extend to those under two years old.

"Running? I suppose," Tremas said, hunkering down to get to eye level with them. "But when you two have children of your own you'll understand that it's not such a bad thing. I see your wife already has a knack for little ones."

Rose looked up sharply. "We're not married," she said.

Tremas blinked. "Oh. I thought…"

The Doctor stepped in quickly. "Not married **yet**," giving Rose's hand a significant squeeze. He'd suddenly remembered a long-ago conversation with Nyssa about social customs. Public hand-holding on Traken was virtually an announcement of engagement. The way he and Rose had been wrapped around each other earlier was considered very intimate. He didn't want to get tossed off the planet for violating their codes of public conduct.

Rose **was** learning. Without missing a beat she said, "Yeah, the wedding is next month. Seems like an eternity away, doesn't it, **darling**?"

Oh, so she was going to enjoy this! Well, no reason for him not to enjoy it too. "Dearest, I've been asking you to just slip away with me and elope. But you keep worrying about upsetting your mother. By the way," he said, extending a hand to Tremas and ignoring the sudden flash in her eyes, "My name is John Smith. And this is Rose."

The other man's eyes twinkled. "Glad to meet you, John Smith and Rose. I am Tremas. And you've already met Nyssa." The child had settled down onto the grass and was currently conducting a detailed inspection of the Doctor's right trainer.

"Yes, she's made quite an impression," the Doctor chuckled. "Especially on the top of my head!" He grinned at Tremas' suddenly panicked expression. "Not to worry, Tremas! No permanent damage!"

"Got a thick skull, this one," Rose said, a little too sweetly. Payback? Well, he should have expected that. He'd thrown the gauntlet by bringing up her mother. Of course she wouldn't let it pass.

"Well, that's good," Tremas said uncertainly. These strangers were not quite what he was accustomed to. "It's not our custom to welcome visitors to Traken with violence."

"Is it that obvious that we're not from around here?" the Doctor asked. Tremas smiled again.

"Our people are not as…publicly affectionate as you. But do not be concerned. There are many visitors here today, John Smith. From many worlds. Aren't you here for the Consular Installation Ball tonight?"

Rose glanced at the Doctor and gave his hand a squeeze. Obviously she wanted to go, like any young woman would. He knew very well that Jackie had raised her on bedtime fantasies of magic balls and charming princes. Too often, he'd shown her ghost stories and tales from the crypt. Here was a chance to change that. "Well, we'd heard about it," he told Tremas. "But we weren't sure…."

"Please come as my guests," Tremas invited them. "It's the least I can do after my daughter assaulted you," he continued, laughter in his voice.

Well, why not? "All right then," he said, standing and pulling Rose up off the ground. Sweeping Nyssa back up, Tremas stood with them. The Doctor reached out and shook his hand again. "Thank you for the kind invitation, Tremas," he said, and reached for Rose's hand once more. "Come on, dearest. Let's go put on our dancing shoes!"


	3. Chapter 3 Ghosts and Glass Slippers

A/N: Next chapter! Again, mostly done at work, where things are now slow after a crazy month. I'm sure I'll pay for all this "off" time with more madness in July.

My co-workers probably think I've gone nuts thanks to the goofy grin I've been walking around with this afternoon in between paragraphs. This chapter was fun to write. Not really what I expected to happen here, but the Muse leads and I just follow.

Thanks to those who have reviewed so far. Kind words are manna for the soul.

Do I really have to re-state the obvious? I don't own any of this. Not the Doctor, not Rose, not the TARDIS, not Cinderella, none of it. All I've got is an overactive imagination.

Enjoy!

**Hold On To Life**

**By**

**Lariel Romeniel**

**Chapter Three – Ghosts and Glass Slippers**

Before leaving them, Tremas asked them to meet him at his home, and gave them directions. They would go to the ball together from there.

The Doctor and Rose climbed back up the stairs to the top of the cliff. "So, **darling**?" Rose asked with an arched eyebrow. How **did** she manage to ask a dozen questions in just two words?

"I knew them. Or…they will know me," he answered. "In my fourth life, Tremas will become an ally, and then an enemy. Nyssa will grow up to become a companion to the fifth me."

"Oh." Rose's face became somber. "Tremas seems so…so nice. He changed, then?"

The Doctor snorted. "You could say that. His body will be stolen by a renegade Time Lord called the Master, leaving Nyssa an orphan."

"The poor little thing!"

Old fury was rising to the surface. "That's not the half of it, Rose. Remember I told you that Traken would be destroyed by entropy? The Master was to blame. And Nyssa watched it happen," he growled. He thought he'd buried the memories long ago. But today they were still raw and bleeding.

Rose saw the burning in his eyes and shuddered at the intensity. "That's…that's horrible."

"It gets worse. The Master also killed Nyssa's stepmother. Ah, Nyssa!" He stopped suddenly and buried his face in his hands. Rose watched him for a moment as his thin frame shook, and then she wrapped her arms around him until the trembling ceased and the anger drained away. He pulled back, raked his fingers through his hair and met her eyes.

"Sorry, Rose. When I think about that happy child and the things she'll go through, losing her family, her people, her world," he tilted his head back to look at the sky, let out a heavy breath and looked back down at her. "It was just too much for a moment."

Rose laid a hand on the side of his face. "Don't worry about it, Doctor. I'm here for you. Remember? I'm your hand to hold." He smiled weakly and laid his hand over hers. "What happened to Nyssa?" she asked. His expression changed to one of pride. "She became strong, Rose. One of the bravest people I've ever met. She survived."

"Then you did all that you could, Doctor. You know you can't change any of it."

She had learned so much. Now he was proud of **her**. He sighed and lifted her hand away from his face, giving it a gentle squeeze before releasing it. "Thank you, Rose. Come on. We have a party to get ready for!"

He became cheery again as they continued back down the footpath. "So, what do you wear to a Consular Installation Ball?" Rose asked.

"Hmmm, well," he drawled, thinking. "It's not an event that happens very often. See, Traken has just five Consuls who make the laws for the whole of the Traken Union. They're appointed for life by the Keeper."

"The Keeper? Is that like a royal?"

"More than that," he answered. How to explain it to her? "Imagine the Queen, the Archbishop of Canterbury and Merlin the Magician all rolled into one person, with the power of millions of minds at his disposal. That's the Keeper of Traken. Royal and holy and utterly responsible for everything and everyone in the Union. Each one rules for a thousand years and actually maintains the physical order of the Traken Union. The Consuls act as intermediaries between him and the people."

"And there are only five of them, each appointed for life?"

He nodded. "Right. But a life of only about a hundred years. So one Keeper could have dozens of Consuls serving during his reign. Still, I think you can see just how rare these balls are. No wonder people are here from many worlds. Its not often you get to meet a potential future Keeper."

"So the Keepers are chosen from amongst the Consuls? And they get…changed somehow to live a thousand years?"

"That's really oversimplifying it…" he faltered at her sudden glower. Apparently she didn't want the full version of the history and culture of Traken. All right, lecture over. "But, basically right! So, this is a really big event!" They'd reached the TARDIS. He ushered her inside. "Definitely an evening for pulling out all the stops, Cinderella!"

She giggled at him. "Right down to the glass slippers?"

He frowned. "No, not that. I'd be afraid of stepping on your toes!" He began ticking off the possibilities. "I step on your toes, and then the glass breaks and cuts up your feet. And I have to carry you off," she shrieked a little in surprise as he suddenly swept her up bridal style, twirled her around the console and forged on, "find someplace to treat your injuries, probably miss half the ball and you're left standing there, a barefoot Cinderella. So, no glass slippers." He looked down into her dancing eyes. "What?"

She was barely controlling her giggling. "Um, do you mind?"

"Oh!" He set her back down on her feet. "All right. No glass slippers! Besides, we're going to have to walk a bit to get there, and I don't think you'd be able to walk very far in glass slippers."

"What, we can't just move the TARDIS closer?" she asked.

"I don't dare," he replied with a shake of his head. "Someone might see her and then remember her down the line when my fourth self gets here. No telling what might happen if **that** happens." He began to pace around the console, speaking quickly to try to keep up with his quicksilver thoughts. "If that happens, then all that business with the Master in the Melkur might not happen and Traken might not be swallowed up by entropy and my fourth regeneration might not happen. So the Great London Fire might not happen, but the Terileptil plague might just happen. That wouldn't be good. Hmm. My other regenerations might not happen either. But then again.."

He stopped suddenly in front of her with a gasp and a wide eyed look. He grabbed her shoulders firmly and pulled her up and toward him so they were almost nose to nose. "The Time War might not happen!"

He kept her on tiptoe for a brief moment as he pondered the implications. Then he shook his head, released her and took off pacing, his mind racing again. "No. It would be nice for all those terrible things not to happen, but if they don't happen then my eighth regeneration won't happen and **we** won't happen, and I don't know about you, Rose, but I'd rather for all those things to happen than for that not to happen." He stopped pacing and looked at her. "What?"

She was leaning against the console for support, bubbling over with laughter that left her unable to speak. He'd lost her somewhere around the Melkur. From there she'd just let the words wash over her so she could watch his mind work. She knew he was being perfectly serious, but his mannerism was just too much. He raised an eyebrow. "Was I prattling on again?" She nodded and struggled to bring herself under control. "Well. Still. No glass slippers and no moving the TARDIS."

"Cinderella in sensible shoes," grumbled Rose, her laughter finally muted. Suddenly she hiccupped. "And hiccups!" _Hic!_ "You made me laugh so much I got hiccups!" _Hic!_

"Pull hard on your tongue, Rose."

"You daft?" _Hic!_

"No, I'm a doctor! Pull hard on your tongue!" he told her, stepping closer and looking her straight in the eyes. "It stimulates the vagus nerve that runs from your brain to your stomach and alleviates the hiccups."

She stared at him as if he were mad. _Hic hic!_ He tutted at her. "Well, go on, do it! Doctor's orders!"

With a glare that clearly said _I can't believe I'm doing this_, she stuck her tongue out, grasped it firmly and pulled. "Ow! That hurt!"

"But the hiccups are gone," he replied, tilting his head with a cocked eyebrow and his index finger pointed in the air.

She furrowed her brow, looked down and stood still, staring at the grating under her feet to center herself for a moment, then another. She looked up at him, incredulous. "They are! They're all gone!"

He crossed his arms and rocked back and forth, heel to toe, toe to heel, looking very satisfied with himself. "Told you. I'm a doctor!"

She smirked at him. "Smug one, you are! But I'm still stuck with sensible shoes."

He smiled. "Rose, I think you can trust the TARDIS wardrobe to do better than that for you! Go on. Meet me back here in, say, 30 minutes?"

"Be real!" she huffed. "Ninety minutes at least!"

"Forty-five."

"An hour!"

"Done!" he said with a grin. She looked at him suspiciously. "Doctor, can I trust the TARDIS wardrobe to do well for you too?"

He looked wounded. "I thought you trusted me, Rose!"

"With my life, yes! But to get dressed properly for a fancy ball? I'm not so sure."

He smiled. "Go on, Cinderella," he said gently. "Clock's ticking. One hour."

A/N: The hiccup cure comes from 


	4. Chapter 4 The Way You Look Tonight

A/N – Somehow the bottom note on my last chapter got cut off! The hiccup cure in Chapter Three can be found on the eMedicine website. I don't know whether it really works. But…it's just weird enough for the Doctor.

Again, many many thanks to my kind reviewers. I'm so happy to get such nice notes from people whose stories I've enjoyed so much!

Sorry I didn't get this up sooner; work ended up being a bit busy! Long chapter for you this time to make up for it.

I know, I have to say it again. Still don't own any of it. Credit to G.O. Warren for the quote from the poem "The Storm." Look it up and tell me whether you think it fits the Doctor and Rose.

**Hold On To Life**

**By Lariel Romeniel**

**Chapter Four – The Way You Look Tonight**

Of course he knew she wouldn't be ready in only an hour. He'd traveled with too many females, human and otherwise, not to know that preparing for a formal ball was not the work of just sixty minutes.

So he was not surprised when he finally heard her light footfalls behind him some twenty minutes after the appointed time. "Sorry I'm late," she said softly. He turned and smiled in wonder and delight.

By Rassilon, she was beautiful! The TARDIS had presented her with a Grecian style gown of spun gold. The bodice clung to her curves to the waist, covering enough for Traken's sensibilities but revealing just enough to make his mouth go dry. Her full, sweeping skirt was made of layers of golden organza that shimmered in the dim lighting of the console room. More of the same stuff was wrapped around her shoulders.

Gold. For months now he'd associated that color with death, with fear, with the Bad Wolf. But from now on, when he thought of gold, he'd think of this moment.

She'd put her hair up, leaving the nape of her neck deliciously exposed save for a few stray strands. But there was more. Something he couldn't quite put his finger on. He cocked his head as he tried to figure it out.

She looked worried at his expression. "Is something wrong?"

"No, no," he shook his head. "You're just... so different! Wonderfully different." _So beautiful._ It made his hearts ache, but he hid it with a bright smile."The TARDIS wardrobe did very well by you! What about those sensible shoes?"

She hitched up some layers of organza to poke a foot out. She was wearing flat Grecian sandals that complimented the dress perfectly. "Can walk and dance anywhere with these!" she said with a smile, and then he realized what else was different.

"Rose, you changed your makeup!" She'd toned down the heavy mascara and eyeliner, and the natural blush that was now spreading over her cheeks was prettier than anything that came out of a compact. She looked downward and stammered, "I thought…" she trailed off. He lifted her chin and said sincerely, "I like it. Very much. You don't need all of that…stuff. Tonight you outshine Helen of Troy."

Her blush grew deeper. He quirked an eyebrow up. "I mean it! And I should know. I met her! Now there was a woman who **needed** lots of makeup. But cosmetics back in 1194 BC…"

"But I thought she had the face that launched a thousand ships?" Rose interrupted. The question made both his eyebrows shoot up.

"You probably also think that Operation Iraqi Freedom really was about weapons of mass destruction! Rose, it's a universal fact. For every stupid war there's an equally stupid cover story!" He shook his head again and stepped back from her. "Enough of that. Now tell me. Does this meet with your approval?"

She giggled as he struck a pose. His find in the wardrobe room had been a tuxedo with black cutaway coat, charcoal pinstriped pants, a golden vest, and a gold and black paisley cravat over a starched white shirt. He'd almost passed it by to look for something else, but the TARDIS seemed to be insistent on this particular choice, shuffling the contents of the wardrobe rack in order to keep presenting just this outfit.

Seeing Rose, he now knew why the TARDIS pushed that choice. Together the two of them would make quite a picture. "So, what do you think? Am I still foxy?" He winked at her and she snickered again.

"Listen to you, fishing for compliments!"

He strutted like a runway model, holding his hand out as if he was grasping something imaginary. "And I've still got the net out, Rose! So what do you say, hmm? Am I going to catch something?"

She eyed him critically. "Well….you're wearing dress shoes for once," she noted. He picked one foot up to let her inspect the patent leather. "Shiny." She slowly circled around him. "You've got your hair under control; that backcombing thing is working. You can carry off that coat. Most men can't. And those colors are good. We match!" He preened as she stopped in front of him. "I think you'll do."

His face fell. "Is that all? I'll do?"

She smiled and stood on tiptoe, reaching upwards to pull his head down so she could whisper in his ear, "You'll do devastating things to every unattached female there. So you'd better remember that you're supposed to be my fiancé…**darling**."

He grinned madly as she stepped back. "Oh, I will, **dearest**. And you remember that my name while we're here is 'John Smith.'"

She looked at him coquettishly. "What say I just call you 'darling' all night?"

He waggled his eyebrows at her. "Works for me!" He offered his arm to her. "Shall we be off then?"

They ambled out the TARDIS doors and back down along the footpath in comfortable silence, walking through lengthening shadows. "Lovely evening," the Doctor said as they arrived at the vista point over the lake. "Look at that sunset! The particulate activity in Traken's atmosphere must be stupendous!" He stopped and looked down at his companion. "What?"

Rose had given him a pained look. "Doc-" she caught herself as he cocked his head at her, "**Darling**, only you could look at a gorgeous sunset and turn it into a science lesson!"

He smiled a little. "Is this better? 'She reached for sunset fires, and lived with the stars and the sea,'" he quoted.

"That part of a poem?"

"Mmm-hmm."

"Shakespeare?" He chuckled a little. "No, Rose. Something by an American poet. It always intrigued me. I'll find it for you when we get back to the TARDIS, if you'd like."

"Never really thought of you being into poetry," she said as they began to walk on.

"Nine hundred years, Rose," he answered. "Time enough to do an awful lot of reading. And a little writing, although nothing very good. Better at the poet look than actual poetry. In my eighth life I had a little bit of a Lord Byron thing going, without the debauchery of course. Rose Tyler, you're going to get the hiccups again!"

Her lips had been quirking up in a grin throughout his rambling. But at the word "debauchery" she had stopped short and doubled over with laughter. "It's all right, Doc-**darling**," she gasped out. "I know the magic hiccup cure now."

"Rose, **dearest**, doing things like that with your tongue, when you're dressed like that.."

She looked at him with mischievous eyes. "What?"

He was a bit discomfited. "Well, it's not exactly dignified."

Her eyes widened and she began laughing again. "Says the man who **licks** everything in sight!" Again she struggled for control, taking deep breaths that stretched the bodice of her gown in very distracting ways. "Debauchery!" she giggled, and he stopped resisting. He began to laugh with her.

"Mind out of the gutter, Rose Tyler!" he chortled. _And that goes double for you, Time Lord! _"I'm beginning to think Captain Jack corrupted you!"

The mention of Jack suddenly sobered them both. "We'll see him again," the Doctor assured her softly. "When he's done with what he needs to do. Ah, here we are."

He remembered this place, the quarters of Consul Tremas and his daughter. He reached up and rapped on the heavy knocker.

The door was opened by a teenaged girl with strawberry blond hair. "You must be the visitors Tremas was expecting," she said. "I am Kassia. Please come in. Tremas and Larana are waiting."

The Doctor wore a bemused expression as he followed the girl into the living room. The same Kassia? Interesting.

Tremas welcomed them with a wide smile. "This is going to be a wonderful evening, John Smith and Rose! May I present my wife Larana?"

Nyssa had looked nothing like her father. But this woman…Nyssa's mother…was almost her mirror image. Some small differences. Larana of Traken was a bit more slender, the curls of her hair a bit softer. And while Nyssa had been pale, Larana was ghostly.

She sat in a red armchair, arrayed like a queen in burgundy velvet, much like Nyssa had frequently worn. And the Doctor recognized the ornament in her hair; Nyssa would wear it someday. Nyssa herself was on the floor, playing with a doll.

The Doctor bowed, a slight bend of the shoulders. "Lady Larana," he said. "May I present my fiancée, Rose."

Rose made a little curtsy. Larana inclined her head toward them both. "Welcome to you both. My husband was most excited about meeting you earlier today, despite the circumstances," she smiled a little, "and we are both pleased to have you as our guests. Cousin Kassia, would you please take Nyssa? It's time for us to leave. It will not do for my husband to be late to his own installation ball."

"Tremas!" the Doctor exclaimed. "You didn't mention that you were being installed as a Consul!"

Tremas flushed. "It is an honor I am still amazed to have received, John Smith."

"But well-deserved, I'm sure!" the Doctor replied enthusiastically. "Well, well, this is going to be quite an evening. You see, Rose? I promised you all the best seats at the best parties."

"That you did, darling," Rose answered. "Thank you for inviting us, Tremas."

"My pleasure," Tremas replied, extending an arm toward Rose. "And now it's my pleasure to introduce you to one of our customs. Lady Rose, I will escort you into the ball. John Smith, would you please do us the honor of being escort to Larana?"

"Of course," the Doctor answered, surrendering Rose to Tremas. He stretched a hand out."Lady Larana?"

She took it and levered herself upwards, making a great effort for a woman so slight. The Doctor's eyes flickered in concern for a moment. Then she smiled and took his arm. "Thank you, John Smith."

They left the house, Kassia trailing behind them with Nyssa in her arms. The Doctor glanced back at her. "Isn't Nyssa a little young for a ball?"

Larana smiled. "She comes only to share in the Blessing of the Keeper, John Smith. Then Kassia will bring her home again."

"I see. Larana, you can just call me John." She looked at him with a puzzled expression. "Two names. John Smith. You don't have to use them both. Just call me John."

"Now I see," Larana answered. "You look the same as we do, but you are really very different, are you not? You must have traveled a long way to visit Traken."

The Doctor nodded. "Yeah, a long way. We left a long long time ago from a galaxy far far away….Just an expression, Larana!"

"I see."

Just ahead of them, Tremas was pointing out the first faint stars to Rose. "It was quite a sunset we had this evening, too."

"We saw it," Rose answered. "John says you must have some stupendous particular…particle…"

"Particulate?" Tremas asked with a grin. "Yes, we do have stupendous particulate activity in our atmosphere. So, your intended is a man of science?"

"Yeah, he is. I'm rubbish at it but I'm trying to learn." Rose shrugged a little. "He's very patient with me about it. And always teaching me new things as we travel."

Tremas gazed at her wisely. "Your love runs very deep. I could tell that when I first saw the two of you sitting there at the park."

"He's not like anyone else I've ever known. And he's made me a better person." She blushed. "Sorry. I shouldn't be talking about me. This is your big night."

"Nothing to be embarrassed about, Lady Rose. Love like that is something for others to envy. Too often my people are afraid to show any depth of feeling. You two are very refreshing. That's why I wanted you to be my guests. Show these stuffy aristocrats a bit of warmth. Now, we've arrived. A little instruction for you both, since you are strangers to our world," Tremas said, turning back to the Doctor. "We will be announced by the Foster Initiates and garlanded. Then while my family and I go to prepare for the Keeper's Blessing, the two of you will present yourselves to him."

They walked through a towering archway, Tremas and Rose leading, the Doctor and Larana following, with Kassia and Nyssa just behind. On just the other side of the arch was a wide stone staircase, leading down to a crowded courtyard. Tremas brought them up to a young dark haired boy in white. "Initiate Neman, this is my guest, the Lady Rose. My wife is escorted by our other guest, John Smith. And you already know Larana's cousin Kassia and my Nyssa."

Neman nodded and turned to face the crowd. He didn't notice that the Doctor's eyes had briefly widened in recognition. "Consul-Nominate Tremas, with the Lady Rose," he called loudly. "The Lady Larana, with John Smith. The Lady Kassia, with the Lady Nyssa."

Tremas, Rose, the Doctor and Larana walked down the stairs abreast, to be met by four young girls carrying flower garlands. After the flowers were placed around their necks, Tremas bowed to the Doctor and held Rose's hand out to him. Catching on quickly, the Doctor returned the bow and offered Larana's hand.

Like dancers, the two couples changed partners. With a smile and a nod, Tremas took his family off to prepare for the next ceremony. The Doctor grinned and tucked Rose's arm through his. "Well, dearest, are you ready to go meet the Keeper?"

She smiled up at him. "Oh, yeah."

"Please be more polite to him than you were to Queen Victoria," he murmured as they approached the Keeper's glass and gold enclosure. Inside was a wizened man seated in a golden chair. The gates of the enclosure swung open.

"Enter, John Smith and Lady Rose," said the Keeper of Traken. They walked through the gates. The Doctor bowed low, following his lead, Rose curtsied deeply.

The gates swung closed. The Keeper fixed the Doctor with a keen gaze. "John Smith, you are not what you would have us believe, are you?"

The Doctor looked up with a stunned expression. The Keeper was shaking his head sagely. "No, not at all what you would have us believe. You are more. But what does that mean for Traken?"

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A/N I hope that will hold you all for a few days! The family and I are off to the mountains for the 4th of July holiday, and I don't expect to have internet access. But I do plan to keep working on this and have more to post when we get back!


	5. Chapter 5 Blessings and Banana Daiquiris

A/N – Surprise! Our mountain retreat happens to have internet connection, so I can post this earlier than expected. Bad news is that hubby's been sick since we got here, so we're cutting our stay short. 

Chocolate chip cookies all around to my reviewers! Your encouragement makes my day!

You know the drill from here. Don't own 'em. That's the BBC's privilege.

**Hold On To Life**

**By**

**Lariel Romeniel**

**Chapter Five – Blessings and Banana Daiquiris**

The Doctor grasped Rose's hand firmly to reassure her. "We come in peace, Keeper," he said calmly. The Keeper smiled.

"That I already knew, John Smith," he answered. "All those of evil intent are calcified into melkur as soon as they arrive on Traken. You come in peace, but you bring something that will change our world. I do not know what it is."

"Tremas told me…" Rose piped up, then stopped herself, flushing. The Keeper inclined his head toward her, and said, "Tremas is a very perceptive man, which is why I have selected him as a Consul. What did he tell you, child?"

She was blushing furiously. The Doctor looked at her in concern; whatever they'd talked about, Rose apparently considered it very personal.

"Tremas told me that your people are afraid to show feelings. Like love," she stammered, refusing to look towards the Doctor. "He said we could show those stuffy aristocrats a bit of warmth."

"Indeed?" the Keeper mused. "I have often wondered whether our courtly ways and customs have become stifling. Another reason I selected Tremas. Traken must change, and I intend him to be part of that change. And now I believe I understand why you are here, Time Lord. You also are an instrument of that change."

The Doctor gaped at him. "Keeper, you understand that I have not told anyone who I am," he said in a low tone. "I have good reasons for that."

The Keeper nodded. "Have no fears, Time Lord. While the Source has given me the knowledge of you and your TARDIS, that knowledge will not leave this chamber. No one can hear anything we have said. As far as my people know, you are John Smith and Lady Rose, guests of Consul Nominate Tremas. Who is now awaiting my Blessing and confirmation, I see."

The gates of the Keeper's chamber opened again. The Doctor and Rose bowed one more time and backed out. Tremas looked at them a little oddly. "Nothing to worry about, Tremas," the Doctor told him. "Just a little conversation with the Keeper. I think he's waiting for you."

The Doctor led Rose aside, out of the way. Tremas and Larana approached the chamber, with Nyssa toddling between them. They knelt before the Keeper. "People of Traken!" the Keeper announced. "It pleases me to welcome Tremas as one of my five true Consuls. May he long serve with wisdom and compassion. Lady Larana, share your wisdom with him for as long as you can. And may Nyssa bring you both joy. With this, I confirm Tremas, no longer Consul-Nominate, but now Consul in full, with all the rights, responsibilities and privileges of that office."

Tremas and his wife stood and turned to the applause of the crowd, then went to accept the congratulations of their new peers. Rose tugged at the Doctor's arm to get his attention. During the Blessing, she'd noticed the definite expression of the Doctor working out a puzzle. "Is everything all right?"

He jerked out of his reverie. "All right? Oh, yes, Rose. I think I just figured out something that's been bothering me for centuries." She tilted her head, indicating for him to continue. Glancing around, he took her hand and started walking her away from the crowd toward a sculpted fountain, which he then pretended to study as he went on in a murmur, "I'd wondered how the Keeper managed to materialize inside the TARDIS to invite me here before." He chuckled. "I had Adric searching with me through reams of dusty old time logs, trying to figure out whether I'd visited Traken before! Now I know what I didn't know then. I did!" He beamed at her. "Now, tell me about your talk with Tremas on the way over here. You seemed quite cozy."

"Oh, you think so?"

"Yeah."

"As it happens, we were talking about you. Now don't go getting all puffed up! Tremas says you're right about the par- par…" she huffed, and got it out, "particulate activity! He was very interested to know that you're a scientist."

"And he thinks that we can show the stuffy aristocrats a bit of warmth, eh?" he asked, watching her carefully. She blushed and averted her eyes. "Yeah. Just…'cause of the way we are."

"And what way is that?" he asked softly, knowing the answer but wanting to hear what she would say. She held up their entwined hands. "This. Doesn't seem to be too common here," she said, indicating the people surrounding them. He looked around and noticed that physical contact seemed to be very rare.

"They do seem like a cold lot, don't they? I know a way we can start warming them up! Banana daiquiris!"

Rose gave him a warning look. "You didn't!"

"Rose, I've told you before. Never go to a party without a banana!" With a flourish, he produced a banana from the pocket inside his coat. "Come on, Rose! The Keeper said I was bringing something to change this world. Banana daiquiris and the conga should just do it!"

With one of his madcap grins, he began to pull her back toward the crowd. Moving quickly, Rose reached out, plucked the banana out of his hand and tossed it over her shoulder into the fountain.

He stared after it like she'd broken his favorite toy.

"This world is **not** ready for congas and banana daiquiris," Rose told him firmly. She patted his coat front to make sure there were no more bananas in there. "Besides, you didn't bring nearly enough to share. That's bad manners. Come on." Now it was her turn to start pulling him back. With a sigh and a last backwards glance at the fountain, he followed.

They rejoined Tremas and Larana at the foot of the grand staircase, where they were just bidding their daughter and Kassia good night. In the sweet voice used by mothers around the universe, Larana said, "Nyssa, wave goodbye to our guests."

The Doctor waggled his fingers in front of the little girl, who caught them firmly. He chuckled as he tried to extract them. "Oh, you're a strong little one, aren't you? Stay that way, Nyssa. Stay that way always." Nyssa released his hand and put her two middle fingers into her mouth, laying her head on Kassia's shoulder.

"Sweet little thing is tired," Rose cooed. "Sleep well."

As Kassia left them, Larana turned to Rose. "Lady Rose, some of the other ladies here are quite keen to make your acquaintance. Please, walk with me."

Rose looked at the Doctor. "Go on, dearest," he urged. "I'll be just fine here with Tremas."

He watched the two women go off into the crowd. Next to the darkly dressed women of Traken, Rose glowed golden. But the Doctor noticed something else. Set against other women of her age and rank, Larana looked fragile, pale to the point of translucence. Tremas interrupted his scrutiny.

"John Smith..."

"Just John, please." Tremas nodded in assent.

"John. You do know you're a very lucky man. Rose is a treasure."

The Doctor smiled. "Nothing like her in a million star systems," he said. "Tremas, may I ask you a question?"

"Ask."

"Your wife. She doesn't look well."

Tremas glanced at him with a wistful expression. "She is not well, John. She is dying."


	6. Chapter 6 Lessons to Learn

A/N: It took me a while to sit down and actually write this chapter. With Series Two ending Saturday, I've been a bit depressed. It's terrible to have just found such a wonderful couple and then to lose them! (I only found Series One this year; I'm in the US. And I've only gotten my hands on the David Tennant episodes in the past week or so.)

:Sigh: I'll get over it, I know. My husband's getting me the Series One boxed set tomorrow, so I can immerse myself in that for now. (He is so good to me. Even though he's becoming very suspicious of my current David Tennant fixation. But hey; he's got his Nicole Kidman fantasies, so I'm entitled to mine!)

Thanks again to all of you who have reviewed. And to those who have not reviewed but have added this story to your alerts: I am honored! I hope this chapter is worth the wait.

As always, I don't own them. Because if I did Rose would not be leaving and the Doctor would admit his feelings. But the BBC owns it all and sees things differently than I do.

**Hold On To Life**

**By **

**Lariel Romeniel**

**Chapter Six – Lessons to Learn**

Before her travels with the Doctor, back during her days as a shopgirl, Rose had attended a holiday party thrown by Henrik's. At least, her boss had called it a party. But standing around listening to office gossip wasn't Rose's kind of party. More like slow death by boredom.

She was having that feeling again, in the midst of all these noblewomen of Traken and other worlds. They'd politely inquired about her origin, made all the customary comments about her supposed upcoming wedding, and then dove into their own stories, leaving her utterly behind.

She stifled a yawn. Larana noticed, and interceded. "My friends," she said, "The Lady Rose and I are going to retire to our seats. I feel the need to rest before the dancing." Larana threaded her arm through Rose's and walked with her toward the high table.

"I apologize for that, Rose," Larana said kindly. "You certainly don't need to be bored by stories of marriage arrangements."

"Oh, I don't know," Rose answered, trying to be polite. "I suppose it wouldn't hurt to learn a few tips for planning my own wedding."

Larana blinked at her. "Rose, I don't think you understand. When I said marriage arrangements, I was not talking about the ceremony. Traditionally, marriages here are arranged."

Rose's mouth dropped open. "Oh! So you and Tremas…"

Larana smiled. "We are not exactly traditional. I met Tremas and fell in love with him before our families had even considered arrangements for us. We made the decision for them." They reached their seats and Larana seemed to sink into hers. "Ahh, that's better. So, things work out, Rose."

"What would you have done if you'd had an arrangement to marry someone else?"

Larana didn't even pause to think about it. "I would have broken the arrangement, no matter who might disapprove. The heart comes first, Rose. Tradition and custom are empty ceremony without love."

drdrdrdr

"We call it the Wasting," Tremas said, watching his wife move through the crowd. "The body's systems slowly atrophy."

The Doctor stared at him in horror. "Traken is known for its advances in bioelectric treatments of disease. There's nothing you can do?"

A bitter smile now. "The Wasting is one of the reasons we have advanced so far," Tremas replied. "Generations of scientists looking for a cure that has so far eluded us. Every time we think we've found the answer, the disease changes."

"Mutation," the Doctor muttered. Tremas turned to him. "Yes."

"I…" _I could help her_. The extensive medical records on the TARDIS could have the cure. But right on the heels of that thought came another. _I can't help. _If Larana survived, that would alter the timeline, most likely with disastrous consequences. The Reapers were just one of many terrible possibilities. No matter how much he wanted to help, he couldn't do a thing. "I'm so sorry, Tremas."

"I should apologize to you, John," Tremas said, laying a hand on the Doctor's shoulder. "You came here to enjoy yourself, not to be burdened by another man's troubles."

"Shared burdens are lighter," the Doctor told him. Tremas nodded gratefully. The Doctor asked, "How long?"

"Not nearly long enough," Tremas sighed, dropping his hand. "Many victims of the Wasting linger on for years. But birthing Nyssa took so much out of her. I fear the years have turned into months at most. We knew that it was a risk. But Larana wanted a child so much. And I have never been able to deny her anything." He looked the Doctor in the eye. "You know. Love is like that."

Tremas sighed again, looking up at the night sky. "We could have chosen a different path, the safe path that would have let her survive longer. But survival is not life, John. We chose life. I won't have her forever. But for the time we do have, she will be happy." His voice began to tremble. "And it is that thought which I must hold in my heart when the lonely years begin."

Tremas passed his hand over his eyes for a moment. His voice steadied again."I promised Larana I would not be morose. Come. The dancing will begin in a few moments."

They joined the women at the head table. The Doctor watched Tremas take his wife's hand in a gentle yet desperate grip. "Come, my love," Tremas said softly. He helped her rise and led her out to the dance floor. Music began to play and they began to dance, a complicated choreography of bows and turns, only their hands touching. But the Doctor could see that their eyes were locked together, and what he read in them gave his hearts a fresh pang of sympathy for Tremas. The man's soul was in his eyes, his love for his wife burning brightly in them.

"Are you all right?" Rose's voice brought him out of his reverie. He smiled and held a hand out to her. "I'm fine, Rose," he said. "Come dance with me."

She looked a little uncertain as he led her out to the floor. "I don't think I can dance like that," she whispered, nodding her head at the other couples who were weaving intricate patterns, hand to hand.

"Don't worry," he said, pulling her close. He wrapped his right arm around her and softly closed his left hand around her right, bringing it up. "I think you can manage a waltz, can't you? Just follow my lead."

"My granddad taught me, years ago." She looked around. "But we might just cause a scandal!"

The Doctor raised an eloquent left eyebrow at her. "Tremas and the Keeper seem to think these people need a scandal." One, two, three, one, two, three. "You know, European courts were scandalized by the waltz at first. Considered it very improper. Strange when you think about it. Extramarital affairs were an accepted matter of fact among the upper classes. But let two fully clothed people hold each other close in public and it's the end of all morality!"

She chuckled. One, two, three, one, two, three. "You know," he said, "We're doing this very improper dance improperly. We're not supposed to be looking directly at each other. We're supposed to be arched a bit away from each other," a devilish grin now, "dancing like two bananas," he concluded.

Rose closed her eyes and shook her head, laughing. "Leave off with your bananas!"

He brought their hands in to rest against his chest, leaning his head down next to hers. One, two, three, one, two, three. "I will. I prefer to stay improper, dearest."

No humorous emphasis on the last word this time. She glanced quickly into his eyes and thought for a moment that she saw something more than the wisdom of 900 years. But it was quickly replaced by a mischievous twinkle. "Do you trust me, Rose?"

She smiled slowly. "Always. Darling."

No humorous emphasis in her voice, either. The Doctor tightened the grip of his right arm and swung Rose around to dip her low. She gasped a little in surprise and then held her breath as she looked into his eyes.

There it was again.


	7. Chapter 7 Filling the Emptiness

A/N – I knew I would pay for quiet days at work. Ended up having to work a concert last night, during a time when I'd normally be writing! My apologies for making you wait; I hope you think it's worth it.

Nope, I don't own any of it. Doctor Who belongs to the BBC. Which doesn't see fit to run the new series on BBC America. Darn them.

**Hold On To Life**

**By **

**Lariel Romeniel**

**Chapter Seven – Filling the Emptiness**

He held her there for a beat, then another. Their faces so close, her body trembling against his. He dipped his head a little to rub the tip of his nose against hers. "Don't forget to breathe, Rose," he whispered, moving to set her back on her feet once more.

She took in a shuddering breath, clinging to him for balance. After a moment she found her feet, and they began to move again. "You all right there?" he asked softly. She nodded. "Oh, yeah."

"Your granddad never dipped you?"

"He did," she answered, remembering the kind old man dancing with her in her mother's kitchen to scratchy-sounding tunes on the radio. "It used to make me laugh."

"You weren't laughing just then," he pointed out, watching her and smiling as she blushed and stammered out, "What we just did was…different."

"Good different or bad different?"

She met his gaze squarely. "Definitely good different."

They continued to step and sway across the floor, their eyes locked together. One, two, three, one, two, three. As the music ended, he brought her hand up, pressing it against his lips in a not-quite kiss. His right hand gently caressed her back.

"A bit warm this evening, don't you think?" They both started at Tremas' voice coming up alongside them. The Doctor unwrapped his right arm from around her and lowered her hand. Rose stifled a disappointed sigh.

Tremas and Larana were standing hand in hand next to them. "We apologize for startling you," Larana said with a smile at Rose, "but custom does insist that we dance with our guests now. And Tremas and I would both enjoy learning your dance."

The Doctor and Rose glanced at each other, and as before, he held her hand out to Tremas. The two couples changed partners as a new song began, with a slightly faster beat.

Tremas put his arm around Rose uncertainly. "Perhaps you should let me lead, until you get the hang of it," she said with a smile. "Like this."

She showed him the simple steps. Tremas caught on quickly and soon took the lead, twirling her around the floor.

The Doctor was moving more slowly with Larana. Like her husband, she had learned the simple steps in just a few moments, but the Doctor was afraid to push her too hard.

Larana cocked an eyebrow at him. "John, we're a little off time with the music."

"Just wanted to give you a chance to learn," he said. Larana wasn't having any of it. "Tremas told you, then?" she asked in a low voice. The Doctor paused, looking into her eyes. Then he sighed and nodded. She shook her head.

"John Smith, I may be dying, but I will not die tonight. And I certainly will not break! I refuse to slow down or sit out of life when I don't have to. And right now, I don't have to," she told him firmly.

The Doctor was reminded of Nyssa when she was feeling particularly stubborn. He smiled at the memory, and replied, "Very well, then. Hold on!"

They began to swirl around the floor. He noticed that other couples had joined them in their own variations of a waltz. Mostly off-worlders, but there were a few Trakenites who'd mustered the courage to break with convention. He glanced at the Keeper's chamber to see if the ancient man had noticed, but the chamber was empty.

Larana noticed his gaze. "The Keeper rarely stays after giving his Blessing," she said. "But I think he would be pleased with this sight."

The dancing went on long into the night. Rose found herself moving from partner to partner. Sometimes she saw the Doctor dancing with another woman. Other times, he leaned against a column, just watching her. At last she managed to extract herself from the dancing and joined him, leaning against the column herself. "Whew! Even with flat shoes, my feet are starting to hurt!" she said.

"Better take a rest, then, Cinderella," he answered. "We don't have a horse-drawn pumpkin to get home in." Taking her by the elbow, he led her back to the high table, where she sank down into a seat. Responding to a waggle of the Doctor's fingers, a Foster Initiate brought them goblets of wine. Rose gratefully sipped at hers, and her eyes widened. "This wine tastes like…chocolate and berries!"

"Hmm. Yes," the Doctor said after taking a sip from his own goblet. "Traken's equivalent of cacao is an intoxicant for the natives."

"You mean they get drunk on it?"

"Mmm-hmm. Just like alcohol for humans."

Rose looked a little alarmed. "This is safe for me, isn't it?"

The Doctor gave her a wounded look. "Would I put you in danger, Rose?" She raised an eyebrow at him and he reconsidered. "Right. Forget I said that. Hmmm…it will have some effects…" he trailed off and looked up at the sky, thinking for a moment. "Let's see. Flavonoids and antioxidants. Theobromine and caffeine as stimulants. You'll have increased serotonin and dopamine levels in your brain, but nothing you can't handle. You'll be fine, Rose," he said, looking back at her and beaming brightly. "In fact, you'll feel great. And better yet, no hangover in the morning!" He raised his goblet and clinked it against hers. "To the new Consul," he said.

"To a new, more scandalous Traken!" Rose returned with a grin.

"Please don't let the senior Consuls hear you say that," said Larana as she approached with Tremas. "I don't think they're ready for it!"

The four of them sat together, watching the dancing and a parade of entertainers between sets; musicians and dancers and jugglers and a few performers who defied explanation. But sometime in the middle of the entertainment, Rose had stopped paying attention. The Doctor was sitting close to her, his right arm draped around her, his left hand holding her left on his thigh, his left thumb lazily tracing patterns on her hand. The simple caress was sweet torture, and her body's reaction to it was electric, warming all over. She hoped she wasn't turning bright red as she leaned into him. She glanced up to his face, but he was intently watching the current performers, a group of acrobats who were – how in the world were they doing **that**? She looked back up at him. His brow was furrowed; he was obviously trying to figure out just how all those limbs were intertwined.

She smiled, enjoying his changing expressions. After a few moments, he felt her gaze and looked down at her. "You all right there?" he asked again softly.

"Definitely all right," she answered. She laid her head against his shoulder, and he rested his cheek against the top of her head. She felt a rumble of laughter in his chest. "What's so funny?"

"Just thinking, at least this time it's not likely that I'm going to be hit on the head!" She giggled, and replied, "And this time we even have the bread and wine!"

He tightened the grip of his right arm ever so slightly. "Mmm. But the best part is still thou."

Another perfect moment. But he knew it couldn't last too much longer. The hour had gotten very late, and the crowd in the courtyard was beginning to thin. Larana was beginning to droop a bit. Tremas met his eyes and gave a slight nod, rising with goblet in hand.

"My friends," he said in a loud voice, "I thought that to be a husband and father were honors enough. To become a Consul is beyond anything I ever imagined, and I thank all of you, friends old and new, for celebrating this honor with me. Larana and I will retire now, but please, those of you who are not yet spent, continue to enjoy yourselves. With the dawn comes a bright new future for Traken!"

Cheers and clinking goblets throughout the courtyard. Tremas helped Larana out of her seat and up the grand staircase, the Doctor and Rose close behind them. At the top of the stairs, the new Consul and his wife turned back to the courtyard and bowed to the gathering. Then they were back out through the archway into the free night air.

"Consul Tremas!" An out-of-breath Foster Initiate ran up behind them. Neman again, carrying an ornately carved bottle. He held it out to Tremas. "You asked for this, sir."

"Ah, yes, thank you, Neman," Tremas said, taking it from him. He turned to the Doctor and presented the bottle to him. "A small gift from us to enjoy at your wedding, John and Rose. A rare vintage to help you remember Traken."

The Doctor took it with a smile. "I promise you, I will never forget Traken."

"Or this wonderful evening," Rose added. Tremas reached out and hugged her, and then shook the Doctor's hand. Larana followed, hugging Rose and then kissing the Doctor on the cheek. Again, he was reminded briefly of Nyssa. "Good luck to you both," he said.

A nod from them both. "And also to you, John Smith," Tremas said. One more bow, and the Trakenites turned away to go back to their home. The Doctor and Rose watched them disappear into the night. She sighed, and he smiled down at her. "Time to go home, Cinderella."

He pulled his sonic screwdriver out of his coat pocket and flicked on the torch to light their way. Back to the vista point over the park, where the lake now reflected millions of stars. Back down the footpath which finally led to the TARDIS door. Back through the door into the TARDIS console room. "Back to reality," Rose sighed. "It was a lovely evening, Doctor. Thank you."

He looked a little disappointed. "And I was just getting used to 'darling,'" he said teasingly. "But, you're welcome, my dearest Rose."

The humorous tone was back. She fought back disappointment, and said, "Well…I'm gonna go get changed. And don't you have something to say to the TARDIS?"

He smiled. "You're right. Go on."

She headed down to the corridor toward her room. He set the bottle of wine down on the console and loosened his cravat. Off went the coat, tossed carelessly on his chair. The flower garland followed. He turned back to the console and ran a hand over it. "Old girl, it was a lovely day and evening," he murmured. "But why do I have the feeling you had ulterior motives?"

Echoes of the night's conversations ran through his mind. _Survival is not life, John. We chose life. I won't have her forever. But for the time we do have, she will be happy_.

_I refuse to slow down or sit out of life when I don't have to._

"Is that what you wanted me to see?" he asked. "That I've only been surviving? That I'm sitting out of life when I don't have to? And that you think it's time for something more than traveling and running for our lives? Old girl, you know better. I've never…I can't…"

"Can't what, Doctor?"

Rose was back, standing at the entry of the corridor. She'd taken off the ball gown and was now wearing a simple silken robe, her feet bare, her hair still up. _Still beautiful._

The Doctor tried to dissemble. "I can't figure out how to top this evening. I'm just thinking…." He trailed off as Rose shook her head. She wasn't buying it. She remained in the entry, waiting patiently for him to go on.

"I…I…" He sucked in a breath and let it out. "I can't love someone I travel with," he finally blurted out. He put his hands out and leaned against the console in front of him, staring blindly at the controls. Then he looked up across the console at her. "It goes against all the traditions and customs of the Time Lords and Gallifrey."

Rose had frozen at the word "love." His words hung in the air between them for a moment. Then she said slowly, "Doctor, I've been learning, from you and others. Tonight Larana told me that tradition and custom are empty without love. You told me yourself that you'd always cared very little for the traditions and customs of Gallifrey. That's why you left, why you travel. Ignoring the rules, except the one that could make you vulnerable. And that's made you lonely and empty. Always trying to fill the empty space with words." She was moving slowly across the floor towards him, stopping on the other side of the console.

He smiled weakly. "Nature abhors a vacuum."

"See? You're doing it again!" She began to move around the console toward him. He regarded her warily. "You don't have to be afraid of being vulnerable," she continued in a soft, soft voice. "There's no one saying that you must be alone. No one telling you that you cannot love. No one except yourself."

She was standing right in front of him now, gazing up, her heart in her eyes. She could feel him tremble as a battle raged in his own eyes. Finally, with a long sigh, his body relaxed and he answered her in the only way he could.

He wrapped his arms around her, crushed her to his chest and kissed her.

_To be concluded….._


	8. Chapter 8 After

A/N: Just saw Doomsday. :Heavy sigh.: Not fair. I think I might just treat that episode the way I do Star Trek: Nemesis. I refuse to accept it!

Yeah. I know. I haven't any choice because the BBC owns it, not me.

**Hold On To Life**

**By**

**Lariel Romeniel**

**Chapter Eight – After **

Later, much later…

After that first kiss led to more kisses…

After he'd nibbled and licked at the nape of her neck and found that it was as delicious as it had looked….

After he had explored Rose with lips and hands and had been explored in return…

After he'd swept her up and carried her off to his bedroom, navigating by sheer instinct as he kept their mouths glued and their tongues tangled…

After she'd growled in frustration at the buttons and cufflinks on his clothing, making him grin in delight…

After she slipped her robe from her shoulders, making him gasp in wonder…

After the desperate, fierce passion of their first joining…

After the sweet, tender slowness of their second…

Much later, she reached up and brushed his hair back as he shifted his weight off of her and settled his lean body next to her. "All right there?" she asked in a whisper. He gave her the mad grin she loved so much and ducked his head down to kiss her. "Definitely all right," he said. She grinned back and pulled his head down for another kiss, running her hand down his body in a manner intended to rekindle his interest. He chuckled into her mouth and pulled back. "Rose, how much of that wine did you drink?"

She thought for a moment, then shook her head. "Don't know. I really liked it, so….I think a lot. You said it wouldn't hurt me. Wouldn't even give me a hangover."

He grasped her wandering hand and pulled it up to his lips, kissing it to ease her disappointment. "That explains it. You **should** be exhausted by now," she giggled at him, "but you're too loaded up on theobromine and caffeine. Those stimulants could keep you going for hours longer."

She arched an eyebrow at him. "Sounds good to me!"

His eyes danced with mirth. "And of course chocolate is an aphrodisiac. Particularly effective with one Rose Tyler. I'll have to remember that." He kissed her on the forehead and started to slide away from her warmth. She caught his hand. "Where are you off to?'

He smiled and turned her hand to lay a gentle kiss into the palm. "Be right back. I'm going to move the TARDIS back into the time vortex before some curious Trakenite discovers us."

He slid out of the bed. She followed, wrapping a sheet around herself. He went to the console and began pressing buttons. Rose was leaning against the corridor entry, watching him with a grin.

"What's that look for?" he asked with a raised eyebrow. She had started to giggle, and answered, "All this time we've been traveling together, I never, ever thought I'd see you flying the TARDIS naked!"

He quirked an eyebrow at her. "Told you before, Rose. Never say never ever." He reached a hand out to her. "C'mere."

She stepped into his arms, letting the sheet fall to the grating below. They quickly became too involved to notice the flashing of the TARDIS sensors, indicating the arrival of another timeship.

Not far away, in a place called the Grove, a statue suddenly appeared with a wheezing, grinding noise. Inside it, a crippled man smiled through cracked, blackened lips. "Found you. I have you at last, Doctor." He limped to the doors of his TARDIS, and found that he could not open them. His ship had calcified, the doors shut solidly.

The Master threw back his head and screamed in outrage. "DOCTOR!"

Inside a blue police box that wasn't really a police box, the Doctor tore his lips away from Rose's for a moment to push the lever that would send his TARDIS back into the vortex. When the time rotor started moving he looked back at her, framing her face with his hands and staring into her eyes. As she gazed back, Rose saw it again. What she had seen so fleetingly at the ball, now burning openly in his eyes.

It was love.

**-End-**

A/N: And so our visit to Traken is complete. I thought about an epilogue about Tremas and Larana, but I think we've all had enough sadness today.

I hope this story inspires you to check out "The Keeper of Traken" which is an excellent example of the Tom Baker era.

Just a couple of extra notes on where my ideas came from. The chocolate/berry wine is based on a chocolate port made by a winery here in my southern California town. And the Doctor's intense, loving gaze is based on something I saw at that winery once: the owner gazing at his wife so intensely and lovingly it gave me delightful chills. Every woman should be looked at that way.

Thank you to everyone who reviewed. I am truly, truly touched by all your kind words and enthusiasm for this little idea that popped into my head and insisted on being written.


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